Life is Empty and Pointless

The other day I was on FamilySearch.org. I like to browse around my family tree and read stories of my ancestors. I realized that there is almost nothing on my ancestors who lived in the last 100 years. This made me incredibly sad. Who are these great grandparents of mine? What struggles did they have to bare? Are they even remembered? I don't know who they are, and their memory dies with those who fail to share them.

This is my mom's side of the family (I do know their stories, only because of my moms efforts to share them)

This started a downward spiral of hopelessness. These people were probably amazing hard workers, and for what? All there efforts are forgotten just 3 generations after them.

I then watched "Fault in Our Stars". It's a sad story about teenagers with cancer. A huge point that the main character makes is that we all die. We live our lives and none of us will be remembered.

Two "lessons" of pointless earthly habitation in one day. You can imagine that I wasn't really motivated to go change the world the rest of the day. Instead, I sat on my neighbors kitchen floor and cried. Later that night my husband came home and I told him about my gloomy day.

Yesterday in church someone asked the question of what the gospel meant to me. My response was frank. It's the only reason I'm living. Without it I would have killed myself a long time ago. The gospel gives me hope and purpose.

After church my husband walked up to me and asked me if I could read and walk at the same time. I said jokingly that I might get "car sick" (I always tell him that I can't read in the car). So as we walked home from church I read a snip-it out of the lesson he gave in church that day. It was the specific answer to my question. What is the purpose to this life?

"We are here for a great purpose. That purpose is not to live 100 years, or less, and plant our fields, reap our crops, gather fruit, live in houses, and surround ourselves with the necessities of mortal life. That is not the purpose of life. These things are necessary to our existence here, and that is the reason why we should be industrious...

The object of our being here is to do the will of the Father as it is done in heaven, to work righteousness in the earth, to subdue wickedness and put it under our feet, to conquer sin and the adversary of our souls, to rise above the imperfections and weaknesses of poor fallen humanity, by the inspiration of the Lord and his power made manifest, and thus become the saints and servants of the Lord in the earth." - President Joseph Fielding Smith

I am so grateful for a good husband who thinks about his wife and tenderly looks for answers to her souls questions.