I was going to write a book once. That lasted for about a week. Why did I stop? I'm not sure, maybe it hurt my head too much and I thought no one would read it. Its about dating and all my tricks to it (when it applied). I'm married now and I'm afraid I'll never finish this book even if I wanted to, because I don't need these skills anymore.
So why not put it on here for my first blog post? Okay, here you go:
FORWARD (or whatever it’s called…preface?)
I am not a professional at dating. Just a girl who went on a lot of dates and found her match
made in heaven. You may be thinking: “I know plenty of people who go on a lot of dates and they don’t
claim they know what it takes and writes a book about it”. The difference between me and them is that I
went from “rags to riches” in the dating world, therefore I feel I do know what it takes to get those hot
guys to ask you out (and a few “good personality-in the inside” guys along the way too). It took a long
time to figure out the whole dating thing out. Dating was a long and grueling process, it took a lot of
weeding 100’s of guys out. For Instance, I have been in love six times, ridiculous I know, but through
my experiences I know what works and doesn't work. I must say that this book is written for the girls
point of view. All boys have to do is ask a girl out on a date. What is harder is getting guys to take the
bait. After I outline certain tools ( I can’t think of the word I’m looking for) on how to get a guy to say
that precious phrase of “what are you doing on such and such date?” I will go over what to do on the
date, after the date, weaving through the men, and the processes of deciding if this guy is the right one
Chapter One – Taking the Bait
Men are very simple minded creatures, I’m sure you've heard that before. So lets take us,
complicated women, and try to simplify things.
Picture an ice cream cone. Not just any ice cream cone but one in the summer time. It’s 97
degrees outside and you’re walking around at an outdoor social event. People are passing by holding
double and triple scoop ice cream cones. Waffle cones twisting up to form a wide base for sweet, cold,
refreshing flavors to be smashed into it. The people walk by you liking away. They are speed-fully
twisting the cone trying to lick all of the “run off” ice cream before it gets on their hands. The soft
melted portions are glistening at you saying “Look at me, you want me”. You begin to salivate. You
forget everything around you. You now have one purpose in life: To find the source of the ice cream,
buy it, and feel the refreshing sensation of it cooling your lips, tongue, and trickling down your throat”.
Lets relate this to dating. We all know there are certain qualities in women that make
better wives and mothers – things that would be healthy for men to look for in a women. You and I have
many of those qualities. Often you may wonder like I had “What in the world are those guys thinking?
They keep going out with these shallow women who are as interesting as my elbow”. There were so
many times I just anted to shout “Hello, I’m right HERE, what you are looking for – you just don’t know
So we have two options. #1 Change men into liking green beans more than ice cream. Or #2
Trick men into thinking we are ice cream when in fact we are green beans. This works. Our goal is to get
the guy to ask us out on a date, not to marry us. It’s like fishing you see. A fly fisherman takes materials
to imitate a particular bug. The goal is to get the fish to be attracted to it enough to take the first bite
(ok, I think you get the analogies by now. I want you to know that there are things about you
that are wonderful and that you don’t need to change to get more dates. You just need to know what
things men are attracted to to get them to ask you on a first date. In later chapters we’ll discuss
everything after that, to keep the guy attracted to you or to push him away.
Ok, you get the analogies right? Now onto the real stuff. How do I become the ice cream cone?
The first and most important step is to ask yourself the question “How do I get him to notice, me (in a
Step One: Turn his head.
There were two periods in college that set me apart, when I never got asked
out on a date and when I was known in my apartment as “Date-a-Dayna”. I weighed the same, dressed
the same, looked the same. So what got those guys heads turning toward me? It all comes down to how
I acted. How you hold yourself is so important. Confidence is key. Keep in mind that I was rarely actually
confident. The point is to act confident even though you may be trembling inside. I would have thought
that making a connection with a guy would be step #1 but I got asked out on dates I never talked to
before. They saw me interact confidently with other people, just the way I walked made a statement. By
the way, I had to consciously think of my walking, naturally I walk like a boy. God made women
beautiful, nothing is wrong with being and acting beautiful. There’s a difference between that and being
immodest and “teasing” guys.
Step two: Make a connection.
Before I go into how to do this I must go into where I discovered how
vital this is. My mission. My follow up trainer, Sister Haws, taught me everything I know about interaction
with people that I know today. I remember the first time we went tracting together my mouth dropped
in ah. She had a great ability to get people to open up to her. Strangers who would usually slam the door
in our face would suddenly put their guard down. As I observed her I realized that she was a master
with making connections with people on the spot. It wasn't because she was just some kind of prodigy. I
learned quickly from her and the Sisters who I trained also learned from me. Sister haws, me and Sister
Sterzer (who I trained) were all known for being excellent teachers in the mission.
Step three: talk about his life, not yours. People love to talk about themselves.
Step four: Don’t be too picky. Have an open mind. Years ago I had a check off list and after dating
hundreds of guys my check list flopped. For example I always wanted a guy who was outgoing because
I was outgoing. After dating a few outgoing guys I realized that we constantly competed for attention
from each other. My husband is quiet and shy. It works out perfectly because He listens to me for all the
million words I say a day. When he does talk I know it’s a rarity so I bite my tongue and shut up. He is
so wise and everything that comes out of his mouth is well thought through and legit (exactly opposite
of me). Another thing I love is having deep philosophical? Conversations with people. I thought it would
be so fun to marry someone like that. After dating a few guys I found out that two things happened.
One we were always competing over ideas. Two we never relaxed, all we could talk about was our deep
thoughts, it somehow got boring. I also wanted a genius. I dated some and all they did was correct my
English, I felt so demolished. The right guy should always lift you up and not push you down. If I were
to see my husband years before I met him I would have never appreciated him. I had to date other
people not necessarily for me to find what I wanted, but that I could find what was right for me. Society,
Hollywood, whatever you want to call it, has a mold of what a husband should be. But lets face it, we
are all different, therefore our spouses will be different too. Give each guy a chance. Learn what you was
good for you and see what could become a future conflict.
Remember that anything you require out of a guy you must have as well. If you are over weight you can
not have “muscular man” on the top of your list. It’s not that you don’t deserve a muscular man, you
just have to be willing to change yourself. If you end up with one Kudos to you, but nature just does not
work that way. If you want a really good moral guy, you must expect that for yourself as well.