tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post7430923811616705335..comments2015-10-10T08:29:58.622-06:00Comments on Somewhat Dyslexic but I'm Writing Anyways: I've Been Suicidal Most of My LifeDaynahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01344857770662611557noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-70963795732716807232014-08-13T15:53:50.096-06:002014-08-13T15:53:50.096-06:00Thanks for sharing your story Dayna. You are so v...Thanks for sharing your story Dayna. You are so very brave to be so open and honest about your depression. I think the more we talk about depression, suicide, etc, the less taboo it will become. My Mom committed suicide on 6/2/14 so reading other people's stories helps me understand the "why" of suicide. Kerryhttp://68waystorememberyou.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-11996309979421938522014-08-13T12:36:40.534-06:002014-08-13T12:36:40.534-06:00Great post! It is sometimes so hard to know what t...Great post! It is sometimes so hard to know what to do, how to help. Especially when you haven't experienced this sort of depression yourself. Thanks for the list. It helps those suffering and everyone else.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06857999955111669505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-77879418964516006562014-04-07T23:49:05.623-06:002014-04-07T23:49:05.623-06:00Dayna, You've explained depression very well. ...Dayna, You've explained depression very well. I could have written this myself, exactly the same way. You know, I never thought of not succeeding at running my car into a tree or into a bridge or telephone pole. That would suck if I didn't succeed. I always tell myself I had the "courage" NOT to commit suicide. I made a vow with God that I would NEVER ever consider suicide again. There were two times in my life when I was in the throes of depression so great that I didn't want to live. I told myself the kids would be better off without me. If I was in someone's company, my inner voice would tell me that person only feels sorry for me and would rather be with someone else. Deep down I knew what was causing my depression and suicidal feelings, but I wouldn't let myself believe it or acknowledge it. I took the blame on myself. It's my fault I'm like this. I'm a loser. I'm worthless. Every day I sunk deeper down into the quicksand--another feeling of depression. The feeling of falling in quicksand and not having any bottom to push up from. How did I get out of it? I confided in a friend that I didn't feel like living anymore (in those days, the 1980s, depression wasn't as well-defined or known about as it is now and the phrase "I'm so depressed" was used so often it lost it's real meaning) and my friend, over the phone, used a very serious voice to let me know that she loved me. She said, "If you ever feel this way, you call me. I don't care if it's 3:00 in the morning. You call me!" She said, "I love you and I would be so devastated if anything happened to you." In my mind, I thought, "Someone loves me. . . " I also started taking B vitamin supplements and something, in those days, called Km, a potassium supplement. After 3 months of taking Km, I was out of the depression. Years later, in the late 1990s, I started taking Prozac. I took Prozac for 15 years until the reason for my depression went away. When someone says to me they don't know why they are depressed, I know they are "repressing" the reason for it. Deep, deep down, in the utter recesses of your soul and psyche, you know what is causing your depression. Instead, the person with depression would rather blame themselves. That is the mode they are in. The adversary knows how to destroy each of us. Sometimes it's through smoking, or drinking, or driving recklessly; sometimes it's through depression which leads to suicidal thoughts. I hope all who read this, and who can identify, and who have just come out of the depression and are on the mend, will reach deep down, acknowledge what or who is causing their depression, and vow to never let themselves get caught up in that lie again. It is a lie. And, you're right, it is very selfish. Depression is I, I, I, me, me, me. I'm not good enough. I'm worthless. Nobody likes me. Nobody wants me. Selfish. After the drugs take effect and you can make your way back to good mental health, the next step is service. By giving service, you are acting self-less, the opposite of self-ish. It won't feel natural at first, but once you give service, you will forget yourself and think of others, the way God intended it.<br />God bless you, Dayna. I pray you will always know what a superb woman you are. You are a leader. You are smart. You are worthy. You are a child of God, and I am, too. ((hugs))Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08315282689995216493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-87176612809242713672014-04-04T20:54:48.589-06:002014-04-04T20:54:48.589-06:00Dayna, You are truely an inspiration, more so now ...Dayna, You are truely an inspiration, more so now than ever. Thank you for your blog, just hearing you talk about your pain and your recovery, lets me know I'm not alone. I can't say I know what you are going or have gone through as everyones depression is different - yet the same. I have and do struggle with depression and have also fantisized as you have about your own funeral. What keeps me going is my son and grandson. But some days not even that is enough - I just want to sleep away the day and sometimes think it would be better not to wake up. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I love you and know you have a big heart. God bless you as you learn more ways to deal with your depression. Beverly Morris Jenkinsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-89724231413971010622014-04-04T16:55:50.802-06:002014-04-04T16:55:50.802-06:00I love this! I too for most of my life have suffe...I love this! I too for most of my life have suffered with Depression and Anxiety. I have tried meds and therapy and I know they help but the key for sure is talking! Which also means like you pointed out that you need a good therapist to talk too. This has always been hard for me because it takes so much effort to get a therapist that if they aren't good you feel even worse and more defeated. So please never give up right now I am in an awful state waiting for some medical diagnosis of why I am so sick and tired all the time and so far I don't like the answers. I know part of it is depression and I am already on medication so my hope is the physical diagnosis will help the mental and I will feel better soon! Thank Again you are amazing I always knew you were going to do awesome things in life I am so glad I still get to see it!!<br />Stephanie Osternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-18548787504897888912014-04-04T07:11:26.778-06:002014-04-04T07:11:26.778-06:00If this student was Jessica Harrison , she was cyb...If this student was Jessica Harrison , she was cyber-bullied into taking an overdose. Will anything be done to prosecute the people who cowardly tormented her via the internet?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-70647357348630948662014-04-02T15:39:17.233-06:002014-04-02T15:39:17.233-06:00Princess, please know that I love you very much an...Princess, please know that I love you very much and I am always there for you any time and any place.....SdadAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-86988727594353021462014-03-31T22:02:55.105-06:002014-03-31T22:02:55.105-06:00You're so brave to post this dayna bear.You're so brave to post this dayna bear. Anna Harrisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17738939483643031185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-28698003424320456672014-03-31T16:06:57.912-06:002014-03-31T16:06:57.912-06:00Thank you everyone for your comments. Sister Fugal...Thank you everyone for your comments. Sister Fugal, I have never tried any supplements, but maybe I will try some B6 and Niacin if you say it helped you out. Someone once told me that Mg helps them a lot. I'm not one to ask though. I've never been very smart when it comes to natural healing. I like you input as far as the service, music, and talking go. <br /><br />The reason I emphasized talking so much was because I have learned that when I was suicidal I needed to #1 TELL SOMEONE. If I told someone I knew I wouldn't do it for some reason. Techniques for getting out of the slump I am not too good at that... :/ So I'm thankful for your knowledge.Daynahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01344857770662611557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-45397438810771753182014-03-31T15:40:27.634-06:002014-03-31T15:40:27.634-06:00Thank you for sharing this. I have known some ver...Thank you for sharing this. I have known some very depressed people but this helps to know how to help. One question? What can a person do for a deposed person who is an alcoholic and not thinking or remembering right, besides getting them to stop drinking? I think they must stop so they can be reached. Some truly do need the medication. Does B complex supplements help you and others with depression? It helped me. Without it, particularly B6 and Niacin, I couldn't overcome it myself. I believe sometimes it is nutritionally (genetic need) caused but for sure, not always. Music helps so much to pull out of the downward spiral. Forcing ourselves to do something for someone in need is also very helpful, though difficult, when it is hard to pull yourself out. Talking, I agree, helps a lot to help ourselves through difficult times, as long as it is productive and helps us remember and discover joy in life rather than dragging ourselves and others through the mud of depression. What do you think? I like hearing your opinion because you are a very articulate and caring, feeling person who I have much respect for! You have a way of speaking/writing your feelings that I truly love and appreciate! Jill FugalJill Fugalnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-72480695103658144702014-03-31T14:48:54.025-06:002014-03-31T14:48:54.025-06:00thanks you are inspiring! love you!thanks you are inspiring! love you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05776499572354061664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-22481610927381900372014-03-31T05:41:56.140-06:002014-03-31T05:41:56.140-06:00Thank you so much for your simple, yet detailed ex...Thank you so much for your simple, yet detailed explanation of something so many of us feel, but can't put into words. The frustrating cycle that never goes away. Your insight has given me hope and given me tools that I'm going to start using. Such openness and honesty are an incredible gift you have shared. Thank you again!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-8280576655824308692014-03-30T23:34:41.914-06:002014-03-30T23:34:41.914-06:00Wow, I would have never guessed. thank you for sha...Wow, I would have never guessed. thank you for sharing. Love you!Audrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133731891539410364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-48311414457496448652014-03-30T21:59:28.007-06:002014-03-30T21:59:28.007-06:00I deeply appreciate this post, Dayna. I currently ...I deeply appreciate this post, Dayna. I currently struggle with anxiety and bouts of depression and I'm finding that being an "open book" as you put it really helps to stomp out shame and find the help I need. Carrie Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08209518269608948257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-31603701515353866352014-03-30T21:57:35.273-06:002014-03-30T21:57:35.273-06:00You are so courageous!You are so courageous!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3706349971659409393.post-4876168848381775022014-03-30T20:55:09.246-06:002014-03-30T20:55:09.246-06:00Thanks for sharing! you are always an inspiration!...Thanks for sharing! you are always an inspiration!elisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18421841144064755192noreply@blogger.com